Assignment 26A - Celebrating Failure

• During this summer, I became interested in UF's combined Master of Science in Finance Program and had a month to study for the GMAT to receive a suitable score in order to get accepted into a certain program. Even after several productive and dedicated studying sessions during the three days before my exam date, I failed to produce the required results. In a way, I almost expected it; and that is horrifying because I never expect failure from myself. 

• The most painful thing about this experience isn't that I just failed, it's the manner in which I failed. I have always been a disciplined person who is more often over rather than under-prepared. Yet for some reason, throughout the whole process before I took the GMAT I continuously failed to adequately prepare. Thinking back on it now, this process showed me that I was moving away from the methods that had brought me success in the past. I became lazy, comfortable and separated from my innate desires to be an achiever. Several weeks have passed and I continue to reflect on the conditions that led to my failure, and I continue to think about how I could have went through the process differently. I still don't know what my next step is, but I guess that's part of the process.

• I have always thought that the most difficult thing about failure is that it makes us feel inadequate, as if we weren't good enough to succeed or that we did not deserve to succeed. That in of itself also relates to a person's sense of self worth, which makes it even more understandable that we would avoid failure or even being reminded of it. But if at any point you are to challenge yourself or take on a new task, then you always run the risk of being embarrassed and feeling unworthy. These are feelings which I myself often struggle with because of my pride and they challenge my self-image which has generally been positive my whole life. This class hasn't really influenced my risk taking behavior, but it has definitely changed my reactions to failure. I now look at failure from a more analytical perspective rather than try to run from it. I always knew that there were important lessons to learn from failure, but that knowledge itself didn't make me more likely to evaluate my failures. This class has reaffirmed my beliefs that failures can come from anywhere and will be a part of life; and I simply have to get used to facing those failures and learn from them.